On Awkwardness...

So being that I am the Queen of Randomness, that by default also makes me the Queen of Awkward Moments. I have a terribly unstable history of saying/doing the absolute wrong thing at the wrong time. Which is kinda bad being that a big part of my job is to say the right thing to people at the right time. I think the worst thing about how I handle awkward moments is I tend to try to highlight them so people can see even more clearly just how awkward I can be. It's a weird defense mechanism. Having studied Freud and object relations in school, I've spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out when this all started and what stage of my personal development it could be attributed to. Looking into the past, I realize that up until I left high school and went away to college, I was pretty much a fly on the wall. I didn't speak up in class, I wore frumpy clothes, and outside of my group of friends, I generally didn't dare talk to people who didn't speak to me first.

Getting out of my parents' home and going away to college was perhaps the best thing that could have happened to me. It truly gave me the room to "blossom" and become a more confident person. I found my niche in the theater department and worked my way up from bit parts to one of the leading ladies. I got involved with student media and found a family there. I found myself speaking up in class and actually (yikes) voicing my opinion. I even began to sing karaoke on a regular basis! And once I got out of college, I married my high school sweetheart and best friend and we started a fantastic life together. I had officially come into my own. Working my way into the world of nonprofits, getting my masters, and now having started my Dream Job, I should feel spectacular, right?

Well in general, yes, I do. But.....................the awkward moments, they just don't stop coming. And they've been coming since I hit that "blossoming" stage. I'll just give a small example. You know how, in class, sometimes you will move your chair and it sounds like a fart? You don't want everyone to think you farted so instead of just ignoring it and hoping nobody noticed, you move your chair around more, hoping to emulate the same sound 2 or 3 times so everyone knows it's really just your chair. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just sounds like you can't control your bowels. I have problems "controlling my bowels" on a daily basis.

It's difficult to gracefully deal with an awkward situation because you never really know when they're going to happen, right? But I watch some of my wonderful friends deal with them so gracefully that oftentimes you would never even know it had been an awkward moment. This is definitely my Achilles heel. I wish somebody would teach a class on how to handle these things.

So as per my love of highlighting my awkward moments, here are just a few particularly spectacular ones:

• My grandparents told me they had changed their email to ******@cox.com. So just to confirm what the actual email address was, I said "oh, you mean c-o-c-k-s dot com?"
• This is a good one from high school - I was reading out loud in biology class and read the word "micro-organisms" as "micro-orgasms." I was still hearing about that one two years later.
• A dear friend in college made me a vase as a wedding shower gift. When I opened it I said, "Oh, this is beautiful. What is it?" There's just no way to remedy that one. But she handled it beautifully.
• This one is from 6th grade (so maybe it started a bit earlier). I showed up for my confirmation wearing a black and hot pink flowery dress. EVERYONE else was wearing white. In addition to that, I had spent the prior day in the sun for 8 hours with no sunscreen so my skin was as red as a lobster. I really should've just stayed at home. God would've understood. This particular incident spurred a trend of wearing my awesomely cute clothes at spectacularly wrong times. That's a whole different post for another awkward day.
• At a United Way conference a few years ago, there was a luau with an open bar. I must have had six or seven glasses of wine because before I knew it, I was up on stage singing "Like a Virgin" on karaoke in a not-so-virginal manner. Later that night I managed to drop my keys in the toilet and forgot about them until the next morning when my boss pointed them out to me. Needless to say, we went home early from that conference.
  
• Racking them up with my new job: 1. Introduced one of my company's VP's at a dinner as "my boss, so be nice to him". He will henceforth be known to everyone who was at the dinner as "Tiffany's boss." 2. Was late for an important meeting because GPS sent me in circles downtown, screamed and swore at the GPS so much that my voice was almost gone when I got there. 3. During our inaugural breakfast (300+ people were there), our CEO was introducing the Atlanta staff and I stood up way before she called my name, realized I was the only one standing, sat back down and then when my name was called, stood up and did this awkward thumbs up thing (I truly want to get my thumbs cut off because I do this so much it nauseates me).

I guess, all in all, I should be happy with where I am in my life (which I AM!) and just accept the awkward moments for what they are. Understanding and practicing ways to handle them gracefully will be important in the future but I guess my quirkiness is part of what makes me well, me.

Spaghetti Squash: One of the Finer Things

As the great Steve Winwood once said “the finer things keep shining through.” Well, to me, spaghetti squash is most definitely one of the finer things in life. Is it really squash?? I’m not completely convinced it is. With a texture akin to pasta and a sweet-ish flavor, this stuff is crazy good. AND you can use it as a substitute for pasta if you want to take a ride on the low-carb train. Of course, when I made this dish last night I kinda cheated by adding in a substantial piece of ciabatta bread (okay, and 2 glasses of wine), but I enjoyed the hell out of this meal. Even my discerning, meat-loving husband who has been so tolerant of my veggie fanaticism over the past few weeks was able to choke it down (of course, I watched him like a hawk while he ate it to be sure he wasn’t just being nice but he truly seemed to not hate it. Score!).

Here’s the recipe:

Spaghetti Squash Sauteed Surprise Mmmmmm…..

1 spaghetti squash

1 package of portabella mushrooms

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups spinach

Herbs de Provence

Olive Oil

Sea Salt

Parmesan cheese

Slice the spaghetti squash in half and bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Rinse the hell out of the portabellas (this is a botulism-free recipe) and then toss them in olive oil and a few pinches of Herbs de Provence. Stick them in the 350 oven for about 30 minutes (if you’re smart like me you’ll do it when the spaghetti squash has been in for about 15 minutes). Remove all of your goods from the oven and sauté the garlic in 2 tablespoons of olive oil. After just a couple of minutes, scoop the spaghetti squash out of its peel into the sauce pan and toss with the garlic. Add in the portabellas and spinach and continue to sauté it all together. Season with sea salt and finally mix in some parmesan (use your own discretion as to how much, I personally think you can never go overboard with the parm).

See – just like pasta!

Roasted portabellas

This is what it looks like in the pan. Yummy!!

I served this with an avocado split topped with balsamic vinaigrette.

No yogurt for breakfast :(

I've had really terrible digestive problems for months. Soooooo it finally occurred to me that I need to change something about the way I eat. Considering the possible culprits, I finally reached the conclusion that my daily breakfast routine of Greek yogurt and cereal may not be the best way to start my day, as there is a strong likelihood that I have lactose intolerance. So I tested my theory by eating no dairy products for a day, and found that, holy crap, my stomach didn't hurt NOR did I have any cramping or bloaty-ness!! It's now been three days and I am feeling loads better AND lighter. Yay!

Now I love Greek yogurt and cereal so the mere thought of changing up my breakfast routine had me seriously stressing out. BUT it has forced me to be creative in my breakfast-y creation game. Woo!! Most of this has involved just finding whatever I can in the kitchen and getting creative.

Super Healthy Delicious Powerhouse Oatmeal Yeah!

1/2 cup oats

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup almond milk

3 tablespoons raw hemp seeds

1 tablespoon chia seeds

sprinkling of almond slivers

a few dried strawberries for flava

drizzle of maple syrup (the real stuff - it's worth it)

Mix the oats with water and almond milk and microwave for 2.5 minutes. Then mix in everything else. Add additional ingredients at your own risk :)

(I would put a picture in here but the one I have doesn't look very appetizing. Trust me though, it's good stuff.)

Egg and Kale and Avocado and Goat Cheese Scramble

2 eggs

dash of liquid smoke

handful of kale

sun-dried tomatoes

sliced avocado

goat cheese

Scramble eggs just a bit, adding in a dash of liquid smoke. Scramble in the kale and sun-dried tomatoes. Put on a plate, top with avocado and sprinkle with goat cheese. (The picture below is sun-dried tomato-less, not because I ate them but because I didn't have them in the first place. I just thought it would be good to add them in.)

TJ Groupie

I am a Trader Joe's groupie. I've told many people that I should, seriously, be the spokesperson for this amazing company. I love everything about this store. It's like the "Cheers" of grocery stores. All of the employees are super happy and I swear some know me by name. (Really, I caught one of them outside my house the other day - I think TJ's must pay them to stalk their customers - oh well, makes me feel special, plus every girl should have a stalker at least once in her life but that's another post for another day).

Not to mention, many of the products they carry are spectacular, especially condiment-type goodies. Here are a few condiments that you have to try:

Trader Joe's Fresh Blueberry preserves are insane. I will never, ever go back to regular jam or (ewwww) jelly. I go through like 2 jars of this stuff a month. It has tiny blueberries actually IN THE JAM which make the consistency oh-so-fun. And they're really cute too :P

TJ's Creamy Almond Butter goes well with the blueberry preserves or just on it's own, spread on a banana or apple. I've eaten this stuff straight out of the jar and been happy as a clam doing it.

Oh my god. You HAVE to try TJ's Aioli Garlic Mustard Sauce. It is spectacular on anything from omelettes to burgers. I even use it as a marinade for tilapia. Nom nom nom.

This balsamic vinaigrette will LITerally blow your mind.

If your life is unfulfilling (aka you don't have a TJ's within driving distance of your home), I would highly suggest a road trip, just for the fantastic condiments alone.

LOOK at this Guess coat I found at Ross for $62. I could not believe my luck! It fits like a glove and retails at $250.

Because mom always told you to eat your veggies...

So I am in the process of becoming vegetarian-ish. I guess the word would be flexitarian. Perhaps I am too easily influenced by documentaries (I am a complete addict), but after seeing "Food Matters," and "Forks over Knives", I am beginning to rethink my need for meaty deliciousness. So here's what I've been doing. I'm eating vegetarian about 4-5 days out of the week, incorporating as much protein as I can from non-meat sources (hemp seeds, almond butter, etc.) into my diet. Through this process (and prior to this process) I have been experimenting with different recipes and come up with some that I believe to be worth sharing.

Here's a recipe for roasted veggies that is really good. Use however much of each veggie you want. I usually go a bit overboard with the sweet potatoes because they are kind of like candy if you use your imagination. Also below is a recipe for a roasted veggie salad that is super yummy :)

Roasted Veggie Deliciousness

1/2 Eggplant
1 Zucchini
1 Sweet Potato
1/2 Bag Broccoli
1 Yellow Squash

Cut the veggies up into small chunks. Toss in olive oil and sea salt. Spread out into a roasting pan. Roast at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes.

Roasted Veggie Super Salad

Roasted Veggie Deliciousness
Red Leaf Lettuce
1/2 an Avocado
Sprinkling of Goat Cheese
Balsamic Vinegarette Dressing (I like the Trader Joe's brand)

Top fresh red leaf lettuce with a generous heap of Roasted Veggie Deliciousness. Add diced avocado, a sprinkling of goat cheese and top with dressing.

I would load a picture but didn't feel like making the salad again (sorry but I ate it for 3 nights straight). Here's the CPK version, which looks pretty similar: